Editorial Report 12a

Editing is my least favorite part of the writing process. I'd much rather just get it right the first time and be done with it. However, I am but a human on this cruel planet we call Earth and as such, I must tolerate my imperfection and edit my shit.

Short Selection From "Rough Cut": Title & Introduction
The Big Fuss About the Bathroom

    It seems that most people, at some point in their lives, will struggle with "finding themselves" or some other issue pertaining to the self. But no one knows this struggle as intimately as a transgender person. The dysphoria that comes with being born inside of the wrong body is something unparalleled by any other feeling. And as an ally with a transgender best friend, I can fully testify that it is not a happy existence trying to find comfort or acceptance with the situation. One place where gender discomfort largely exists is within restrooms, locker rooms, or other private facilities. Here, a trans person might feel a strong sense of non-belonging and unease at being misidentified. Legislation is springing up as a result that addresses the concern; some bills being proposed would allow a trans person to use the restroom or facility that corresponds with their gender identity. In instances such as North Carolina, these bills are being shot down rapidly before they even had the chance to be defended fully.

(Go into North Carolina issue in more depth + add citation) Of course it's great that American society is trying to become more welcoming and understanding of individuals who might not conform to the "norm". However, North Carolina's concerns are absolutely valid, and maybe they're onto something. Allowing people of opposite biological sexes could indirectly jeopardize the safety of others; furthermore, bathrooms are not divided by identity (as sex and gender are two different things) and trying to turn a restroom into a matter of identity might not be the most useful to any party involved. A better way for society to combat trans discomfort would be employing more single-occupancy, gender-neutral restrooms.


Revised Title & Introduction:
Putting the “T” in “Restroom”: The Manifestation of Gender Issues In Public Space

Humans live as a species divided by opinions and experiences, but it seems that most people have difficulty at some point with identity. But no one knows this struggle as intimately as a transgender person. The dysphoria that comes with being born inside of the wrong body is something unparalleled by any other feeling. And as an ally who has spoken with numerous trans people on the matter, I can fully testify that it is not a happy existence trying to find comfort or acceptance with the situation. One place where gender discomfort largely exists is within restrooms, locker rooms, or other private facilities. Here, a trans person might feel a strong sense of non-belonging and unease at being misidentified. Legislation is springing up as a result that addresses the concern; some bills being proposed would allow a trans person to use the restroom or facility that corresponds with their gender identity. In instances such as North Carolina, these bills are being shot down rapidly before they even had the chance to be defended fully.

House Bill 2, both introduced and signed into law on March 23rd, 2016, prevents public establishments from allowing transgender people to use the restroom/facility corresponding to their identities unless they’ve had sex-reassignment surgery. The bill was hastily introduced into the House as an attempt to thwart an ordinance that would’ve allowed trans people in the state’s capital to use facility that matched their gender identity. (http://abcnews.go.com/US/north-carolinas-controversial-anti-lgbt-bill-explained/story?id=37898153) Of course it's great that American society is trying to become more welcoming and understanding of individuals who might not conform to the "norm". And it’s easy to see how the bill could have been received as a slap in the face to the LGBTQ+ community. However, North Carolina's safety concerns are absolutely valid, and maybe they're onto something truly positive with House Bill 2. Permitting people to use whichever restroom regardless of biological sex could indirectly jeopardize the safety of innocents; for this reason, public facilities should remain segregated by sex. A better way for society to combat trans discomfort would be employing more single-occupancy, gender-neutral restrooms.

1. For one thing, I did some adding and expanding with the necessary background info, which was definitely a must-do that I was putting off. Now my reader will have a greater understanding of the situation at hand and what has sparked current interest. I also fixed a few issues with wording in my first few sentences as well as within the whole thing and I think this gives clarity to what I'm speaking about. I also condensed my thesis; I'm still not in love with it but I think it's better.
2. Maybe form is better achieved with the title change, as it sounds intriguing but still respectable. Again, I'm still not in love with it, but it's much more essay-esque. Back to my thesis, it now more closely resembles a conventional essay thesis as it's shorter and more concise (though I'm hoping to achieve a more precise level of concision eventually)