- I want people to know that I am definitely arguing the unpopular opinion. The majority of kids in my age range, or the majority of politically left-leaning individuals, would want trans people to use the bathroom matching the gender with which they identify. As much as I want them to feel more comfortable and though I am absolutely an ally as someone who's best friend is trans, I'm also a sexual assault victim, and the thought of being unsafe in such a vulnerable area (not because I'm afraid of a trans person using the same bathroom as me and harassing me; i'm afraid of an evil cis male who gets the idea to pretend to be trans and easily sneak into my bathroom to assault me) makes me feel sick to my stomach. I think it's important for someone, that someone being me at this point, to present the counterargument in a logical and appealing way. If the politics and laws don't swing the way I want them to, I at least want people to consider the way the argument looks from my perspective and give a little thought to the idea that everything's a trade-off and there's no way everyone can be happy and we really need to consider the consequences of passing laws before we hastily pass them. Sorry this was not concise, I'm just really passionate about this issue and I want to make sure my stance is known so I don't get a bunch of peer review that's like "hey your opinion sucks". Feel free to disagree but I'd prefer to get feedback on my work and unless you have a really compelling reason why I should change my stance, I'd rather just have the feedback.
- Weaknesses include some weird sentences with too many words where I'm trying to explain precisely what I mean at the cost of concision, as well as possible repetition of words like "identity/identify" "restroom/facility" "trans/transgender" etc. I don't want to overuse these words so if there are any places you find where I could swap in a pronoun or re-word that would be so cool
- I think virtues include (for the most part) my writing style overall - things like word choice and sentence fluency and genre conventions and things. I'm also pretty pleased with how that body content shaped up to form an argument - but if I'm wrong please point it out!
Monday, April 11, 2016
Open Post to Peer Reviewers
I know this isn't due until next week's deadline, but I'm super ready to share my draft now! It's not perfect or a final product as usual, but it's something I'm ready to share for anyone who is ready to peer review.
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Hey Rhiannon! Sorry I'm peer reviewing you again but you're super on top of it and I had to be too so this happened. First of all I really liked the way you argued your point, it helped me see both sides which I don't normally do. A suggestion- you said this issue holds a personal significance for you, and if you're comfortable writing about it I encourage that you do so. Sean said that I should do that and make my segment more personal which I did and I think it really added something to my paper. Think about it! You've got a great start here. Good work.
ReplyDeleteHey Rhiannon,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your rough cut. There were tons of great things going on in it and I'd love to help you add to it by offering a few suggestions on form, check it out here: http://ipass4zona.blogspot.com/2016/04/peer-review-for-rhiannon.html
Hey Rhiannon! You have a really good draft and I like how you're doing your project on an unpopular opinion! Very bold! I didn't see many hiccups in your paper but just make sure when you're done to go through and correct and grammar or punctuation mistakes. I only saw a couple. Good Luck!
ReplyDelete